Hello! How are you? I am doing well tonight, thank you. Thank you also for taking the night off this fine Tuesday. I wanted to tell you that you and I, we are okay! I have confirmed with reputable sources that we are in fact NOT being chased by a bear! Isn't that terrific?! I know I am certainly relieved.
Thank you for all the hard work you do keeping things real. The ability to operate on pure lizard instinct is thrilling! I am glad that when we work together I can survive all kinds of exciting and dangerous events, such as Going To The Movies, Avoiding An Animal In The Road, Speaking In Public, Turning Left At The Supermarket Traffic Light, and more!
However, at this time, we are cool as cucumbers. We are slicker than shit through a goose. Bob Marley himself would encourage you and say not to worry about a thing! Please enjoy a nice rest from protecting me from catastrophe while we coast through a series of uneventful day-to-day life events. I will for sure call you when I think your services would be helpful; I've got your number on speed dial. I may need you again soon for important survival moments, such as Am I Allergic To That, I Slept Through My Alarm, and I Can't Find My Phone.
You work so hard. You've earned a break! Go take care of YOU, pal.
Fondly,
TuRBO
