Typically, I am very stingy with the salt in my cooking. I don't enjoy food that is overly salty (unless we're talking about Lay's Original potato chips - that is a sacred thing), so I normally prepare food to a more neutral palette and let everyone salt their dish to their preference.
I made a dish a few days ago of rice, beans, corn, peppers, grilled tilapia, and roasted chorizo. Because I was bringing this to a potluck, I got nervous that it would be bland and threw in a bunch of salt at the last moment. And now, finishing off the leftovers of this dish, I'm struggling to enjoy it because it's too salty for me. I love each component's flavor and texture on its own, but combined with the salt, it's just too much.
While eating it for lunch just now, it struck me how fitting this is when taking me on the whole. On my own, I like the marriage of my various ingredients, the aspects of my personality and character that make me who I am. But when it's time for me to put on a public face, to share some part of myself with others, I tend to overcompensate for what I perceive as my own shortcomings, lay it on too thick, and just become too much. Then I am embarrassed, privately critiquing my own composition, fearful that everyone is silently judging me for being too much, or worse, not enough.
